I just sold my stuff back home, quit my job, and I’m travelling the world for a decade or so. I’ll stop and work somewhere if funds run low, but I’m not that worried.
A warning for all those entering New Zealand. We have found no maps drawn to scale in this country. In addition, estimated walking times are wildly inaccurate. Bam and I are not unproportional. We are 5’6 (170cm) and we weigh 130 (60kg) apiece. Maps and diagrams estimating 2 hour walking times have taken us 45 minutes to complete. We are either the fastest walkers in this country, or the Kiwis need to sharpen up on their cartography. Everything is a third of what it looks like. The peninsula of Kaikoura (which is where we are now) is drawn to look like Florida, but unlike Florida, we can circle it in three hours. How the hell did it take Frodo three books to make it to Mordor? Bam and I could’ve done it in a short story.
We have located the hipsters in New Zealand. They are all in Wellington. Thank god Bam bought some $10 floral ray bans before we got there. They had spaceship public bathrooms that spoke to you when you entered and sang to you while you peed. Here be Asians too. I had bubble tea. They have a Cuba St and a Panama St but we weren’t sure about their relevance to central America. In honour of Birthday Bam we had hot stone massages and Irish stew for dinner. And during dinner, USA decided to lose to Italy even after saving all of their good players (read: one good player, Captain America) from the Aussie slaughter the week before. And then we stood in the cold for an hour and tried to understand bus schedules. We were about to hitchhike to our deaths when the last bus came and took us to Mars and back before returning to Wellington.
We had one day to do Wellington, and we did it. We did it so well. We spent the morning colouring to Bam’s heart content. She said, “On my 22nd birthday, I want to colour and play dress up and kick all the other children out of the play area so I can have it all to myself.” And that’s what we did. We invaded the children’s section of the Te Papa museum and dressed up like dragons and zebras and drew pictures of Harry Potter and pirates. It was a well-spent three hours. I’m not sure what they were exhibiting in the museum. Something about sea life and history, or earthquakes and pottery.